


Firmament

by HobiTia



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobiTia/pseuds/HobiTia
Summary: Ul Tyr forgot everything about her past long ago. On a night walk in Crystarium, she will be convinced by Robyn to actually do some serious research about it. // Contains end-game Shadowbringers spoilers.
Relationships: Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Kudos: 3





	1. Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Details to know: Ul Tyr is a raen au'ra. She's not a WoL (Warrior of Light) but was almost transformed into a sin eater 100 hundred years ago, when the flood of Light strucked. Saved by pixies, she became a paladin and have been protecting the faes since then. Her friend Robyn is a red-haired hyur and a red mage, actually a WoL. Ul is my character, and Robyn is @Peachtoru's character.

Cristarium always seemed so peaceful, at night. People were still learning how to handle the fact that the sky could be something else than just a flood of light. There were many civilians simply looking at the stars, scared maybe, that they would disappear someday soon. When she couldn't sleep, Ul observed them, too. And by them, she meant the people staring at the sky or the stars. She was still trying to grasp onto… how to social interact with others. Observing them was one way of trying to fill those gasps she had. She was always so... awkward, with everyone.  
  
She truly wondered what was so interesting about the sky, what made people contemplating it every night, not seemingly getting tired about it. She probably saw it before the flood of Light herself, but didn't remember her past life. So it was also kinda her first time seeing it, yet she still couldn't grasp why it felt so unique for others. She asked sometimes, and she was only met with confused and puzzled looks. She didn't feel much; she was slowly getting back her senses and needed time to fully recover from almost turning into a sin eater. 

Even if her transformation was frozen one hundred years ago, Beq Lugg's cure was administered to her only recently. So this big black… space -she didn't know how else to call it, really- was still a mystery, to her. She didn't feel anything, looking at it. It was simply… dark. Nothing more. But today, it was not a stranger she noticed observing the endless firmament, leaning on a metal barrier. It was a friend. Well, at least she thought he was. Ul didn't really know yet, when she was allowed to call someone a "friend". Others tried to explain to her, that a "friend" was an important person, which you cared for. So she liked to think of Robyn as one of hers.

-"Hey there, Ul."

The hyur liked to say to her that she was "cute". She didn't really understand that either. Lots of people called her "cute" even though she really didn't know what it meant. She was more than a hundred years old, so why anyone would think an old lady was cute? Yes, that was a joke! She was learning to make those, as well. Though it was only half joking, she seriously didn't think she was a cute girl, she was a warrior, not a "cute girl".

-"Hello Robyn. Why are you still up? You should be sleeping at this hour."

-"What about you? You are able to sleep now, right?"

That was one way of not answering the question. Returning it to her.

-"Yes. I can sleep."

It was another significant and recent change to her life. She didn't need sleep before the cure was given to her… and now, she was able to close her eyes, and get some rest. It probably wasn't so exceptional for most people, but for Ul… It was like a miracle. She wanted to dream, now. But she didn't, yet. Her dreams were as black as the sky Robyn wasn't detaching his eyes from.

-"I don't need to sleep as much as you normal people though. So I get up and walk sometimes. It doesn't ease me like others told me it would, but at least I get some fresh air."

Robyn smiled a little. He said he liked her frankness. Living with Pixies for so long, they rubbed off on Ul… She was as direct as a child could be, sometimes. Speaking without thinking, just telling what she felt on the instant.

-"So why are you looking at it? The sky, I mean. Does it ease you, like a walk would do?"

Always asking questions, like a curious kid. But at least, the red-haired mage didn't judge her or gave her the weird look others did. He knew how she was, so he tried to explain as best as he could:

-"It's not really the same. I'd say it helps me think. A walk helps you more, like… to clear your head."

-"So it helps you think? About what?"

This time, Robyn's smile faded. He finally detached his eyes from the sky, and looked at her. She didn't really know what to think of  _this_ look. He sometimes had it. It was as if he was… sad. But at the same time, his eyes were warm. Like he thought about something, or someone, that made him really happy in the past… At least, that's what Ul felt it was.

-"Things I wish I could forget. But I really can't."

Ul made a little pout, glancing at the sky for a second before looking back at Robyn and answering:

-"I'm sorry, I don't know how it feels to want to forget things because I already forgot everything. But when you  _do_ forget, it's not pleasant, that I know. You shouldn't want to forget. It's important to remember."

There was a pause, as if Robyn was processing what she just said. Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth, like they said. Not that Ul was exactly a child, she was even older than him, and an adult, but… she truly was direct like kids could be, sometimes. It was almost… brutal, her frankness. But it was so refreshing, it helped. A lot.

-"You're right. I'll try not to forget what you told me today as well, then."

The red mage smiled to her softly, before picking her up. He liked to take her into his arms, because she was so small and light compared to him. And she was comfortable in his arms, so she didn't complain. Also, it felt nice to be close to him. She could feel his heart beat, and if she concentrated hard enough, she could hear hers too. For so long, Ul didn't hear her own heart… and now that she did, it felt really soothing.

-"By the way, Ul, you've never thought about trying to know your past?"

-"Why?"

Why, she said. Robyn was almost confused for a second, there. She was curious, but not about her own history? Well, it's true that if she didn't remember anything, there wasn't anything to get "excited" about, but still…

-"Now that we've defeated Titania and got access to Voeburt's castle, well… I guess we should say Il Mheg's castle, now… You lived there before the flood of light, right?"

She nodded. She was discovered there by the Pixies, so she guessed she was from there. The faes said it was really snowy, before the flood… but this either, she didn't remember.

-"Then, we could ask Feo Ul to search for history books, or… I don't know, birth records of your time in the castle's library. Maybe an event or a name in there could ring a bell."

-"Why not. I don't know if it will, though. But it doesn't hurt to give it a try."

-"It's settled then. Let's ask her tomorrow, 'kay? We should both go back to sleep now. Want to sleep with me?"

-"Oh, yeah!"

Ul smiled, she loved spending her nights with Robyn. He would told her stories about "Eorzea", and how everything there was so different, while snuggling. Also, he explained a lot about what may be obvious for some, but not at all for her, without mocking her for it. Such as "looking at stars helps you think about important things". Now she knew why there was so much people staring at them at night. Maybe she'll try it for herself one of those days, too.


	2. Dragonsong

-"You sure that's everything, Feo Ul?"

-"Do you not trust your beautiful branch? Yes, it is!"

At least, that was something. Robyn looked at the ten or so books that Feo Ul brought them from Il Mheg's castle, scratching his head. That really wasn't much. Though it would have been disastrous if they couldn't have even tried to find something, 'cause there was nothing to begin with. So yeah, still a good news. However, they would probably go over it fast. Here's to hoping something will make Ul remember about her past.

-"You're right. Thanks a lot for this. You're the best branch of them all."

The hyur knew how to talk to the fae just the way they loved it. They squealed and kissed him on the cheek before leaving, seemingly happy. Ul didn't comment, and simply sat at the table to take one of the books. They were in Robyn's Crystarium personal suites, and Feo Ul nicely accepted to bring them everything that they would find. Well, there wasn't much, but the books seemed fairly old, and they were quite big as well. So even if it wouldn't take them too long to search, it still was going to be some work, and they would need to be careful with them.

-"Better get to it right away, hm?"

Robyn sat too, taking the au'ra -well… drahn, actually, in Norvrandt's dialect- in his lap, grabbing a book as well. He had no idea what to search for, because Ul didn't have even a slight memory of who she was before the flood of Light, but that wouldn't stop him. He was going to mark everything related to drahns, and let Ul search in what he marked. After a while, maybe one hour or two, the paladin raised her voice.

-"This bard song. I hear it."

The hyur stopped his own lecture, and looked down to the book Ul had. What, what did she found?

-"What do you mean, your  _hear_ it?"

-"I can hear the melody, reading the lyrics."

Robyn raised an eyebrow, and looked at the song Ul pointed out. It was listed as "Veoburt's celebration song", the story of how the kingdom was born of an alliance between the Drahns and the Galdjents. … Wait. Didn't that ring a bell? As if, Ishgard, Elezens and dragons, who made peace not too long ago. Knowing that Voeburt was the equivalent of Coerthas before the flood of Light, too... Gods, that was weird. Maybe… Voeburt was just like Ishgard, before the Dragonsong war… maybe, in the end, such as what happened in Eorzea with Ratatoskr and Nidhogg, Drahns and Galdjents would have gone back to war. Or maybe… peace could have continued forever. No one would ever know about it, and everyone forgot that story… including those who lived it.

-"So you knew this song? You really were living in Voeburt's kingdom, then."

Ul suddenly raised her head, her eyes shining with what seemed to be hope, and excitement.

-"I remember something from my past!!"

… Oh, seemed like her past was interesting, all of a sudden, huh? Robyn patted her head.

-"Congrats. We're onto something. Maybe your name  _really_ is in those records, after all."

-"Maybe! Can we get something to eat? I want to sing the song, too!"

-"Yeah, we deserve a break, and I would love to hear you sing, too. Do it."

Robyn stood up to get them a snack, but stopped right as Ul's voice began to be heard. Not that his friend was bad at singing, on the contrary actually. Her voice was beautiful and sweet. But this melody… He heard it before. It was… It was Ysayle's lullaby. Dragonsong, she called it… The hyur felt his throat becoming sore. He turned around to watch the drahn sing while reading the lyrics on the book. How… How was Norvrandt so similar to Eorzea, even to this extent…? When the paladin finished her song, she noticed that the red mage was standing there, without having actually grabbed anything to eat, looking at her, like… she just did something really weird.

-"Have I done it wrong? I'm sorry if I-..."

-"No, don't worry, I-… I got caught up. This song is really similar to one we have in Eorzea."

-"Is that song one of the things you wanted to forget, yesterday?"

Small silence. Ul, for twelves' sake… She always knew where and how to hit, somehow. She really just blurted out this question, as sharp as a razor, without thinking about it. Robyn rubbed his eyes, before smiling softly.

-"… Yes. Yes, it was. But I'm thinking of actually cherishing it, now. After all, it's the first thing you remembered of your past life, right?"

-"Right!"

Ul smiled in return, and Robyn finally took some sandwiches on the counter to bring them on the table. They weren't finished yet, actually they read pretty much half of the books, so better keep at it. It had been a weird day, hadn't it? It was truly crazy how sometimes, looking at others' past, you would be reminded of your own.


	3. Promise

The sun was settling. Robyn and Ul's day had been filled with discoveries about Voeburt, even though they stopped at one particular book after a while. It was an exhaustive list of the kingdom's subjects, classified chronologically, so they expected Ul's name to be there somewhere. After what seemed like days thoroughly looking, name after name, the drahn stopped suddenly on a page, almost one of the last ones.

-"I know-… I know those names. I don't-… I don't remember them exactly, but… there's something about them that rings a bell."

She seemed nervous, all of a sudden. If she saw her name, what would happen of "Ul Tyr"? Would she be sad, and yet happy at the same time, like Robyn, if she recovered her memories? She wasn't sure she wanted that, but they were so close to finding out. The hyur's hand reached for hers.

-"Hey there. All of this happened one hundred years ago. If you don't want to remember, if you're scared… That's fine. You don't need to. You're only doing this for yourself, not for anyone else, so it's your call."

The paladin looked at her friend, searching for an answer in his gaze. Robyn's eyes were always so warm, even though they had that sadness to them. What he lived through… It was his past, that made him who he was, today. He wouldn't be the same person without it. Ul… Before meeting everyone, and even the Pixies, she wasn't anyone. But now… She had memories to cherish, even if some of them were indeed painful. Finding out who she was "before" wouldn't change her state of mind today, what she loved, what she despised, and who her close ones were.

-"I-… I stand by what I said earlier. I think it's important to remember. But… whatever we find, I'm me. I'm Ul Tyr."

-"Okay... Then keep up."

Robyn didn't let go of her hand, but instead relaxed his grip, so she would continue to search, with his support. Her fingers kept moving along some names, and stopped after a few seconds on a particular one.

-"I-… I think that's it. I don't-… My… my memories are still blurry, I can't remember anything exactly. I can't explain it, b-… but, that's it, that's the one, it's mine. It just…  _feels_ different, unique."

The red mage looked at the name Ul's finger was on.  _"Nanase Rui, b—n on th— ear —, in th— ity of —"._ Well, that was probably something along the lines of name, last name, born on the year that and city this. Both the year and the city were pretty much unreadable, the ink had smudged. But at least the name was intact, compared so some others who weren't.

-"That doesn't seem very voeburtite, for a name."

-"You mean my parents were from other lands?"

-"Maybe, yes. Explains why you didn't recognize their names on the records anywhere, even though others made you feel things. They could have come to Voeburt for economic or politic reasons… Who knows. The flood of Light destroyed so much, but I think your parents perhaps came from Doma. Well, your world's Doma, at least. Don't know what it was called. And even though you were born here, in Voeburt, they named you based on their culture. Maybe so that-…"

Robyn stopped, but Ul finished his sentence:

-"I never forget from where I came from, in the first place…?"

Yeah. That was pretty ironic. The drahn looked at the name again. That wasn't her memories coming back, well… Did she even expected to get them back? But it was something, at least. Nanase Rui, then… It was as if she was claiming what the flood of Light had taken from her. It felt good, actually. She stood by what she said before, she was still Ul Tyr, because she was kinda born again the day the Pixies gave her that name. But now… She had something to cherish from her distant past, too. A name, that her parents gave her. However, her eyes kept going alongside the line where her name was written… there was more, even though the ink was still smudged. She squinted her eyes to try and read:

-"Wait… It's…"

_"Married t— S—mon J— on the y— in the cit— o— ——"._

-"I was… married…?"

Her voice cracked, this time. Well, seemed like it. Why couldn't she remember… If she got married, then that means she loved someone, and they loved her back. But nothing… not even a single name, seemed familiar enough so that she would remember. Sure, some made her feel weird feelings in her stomach and chest, but that was about it. Oh, now she knew why Robyn sometimes seemed both happy and sad, at the same time.

-"I'm sorry, Ul."

-"It's okay… I guess… Some things, you have to put behind you, even if you forgot about them, and they still hurt."

Nothing she could do about it now anyways. Robyn hugged the drahn's small and shaking body tightly, as all of a sudden, tears began to run down her cheeks, for the first time in one hundred years. They felt hot on her skin, and tasted salty when they got to her lips. Even if she tried to stop them, they wouldn't. It felt so weird, and her heart was beating even faster because of it. She felt warm, and cold at the same time.

-"I-… I'm sorry… I didn't exp-…"

-"Shh, it's okay."

Robyn didn't seem to be bothered by it though, so she turned around to bury her face in his neck. Even her voice was strange. Why was she crying…? Was that her unconscious, knowing who she forget about, that was wiping in her place…? Or was it simply knowing that… when the flood of Light hit, she actually had important ones. And she lost them. But still… she couldn't remember  _anything, anyone_ . Only her name, and this weird piercing feeling in her chest, remained.

-"Robyn, can you promise me… You will always cherish your memories, and that I will never forget about you, ever…?"

The red mage hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head.

-"I definitely will, and you won't forget about me either. And even if that were to happen one day, I won't let myself disappear before you do remember me. Promise."

-"…  Thank you, Robyn… "

Maybe, just maybe, she understood why people were always looking at the sky at night, now. This dark nothingness felt very welcoming, all of a sudden.


End file.
